Lord, is it I?

I think I forgot that Matthew 26 covers so much.  We actually went through it today piece by piece--the meeting of the Sanhedrin determining when to take the Savior away; the non-negotiation with Judas for 30 pieces of silver--the price you paid a man if you killed one of his slaves; the Passover; the institution of  sacrament and the New testament of Christ; a singing of a hymn (Matthew 26:30) before Gethsemane and the mount of Olives; "Could you not wait for me an hour?"; "Father if thou wilt, remove this cup from me;" the betrayal of Christ; His declaration of the need for what was about to come; the appearance before Caiphus, and the denial of Peter. As the first of four, I taught this one pretty literally.

The thing that stood out to me the most happened way before most of it.  Christ foretells his betrayal. And instead of pointing fingers at that guy who's been acting weird lately, Judas--they all ask the question, "Lord, is it I?" They were his apostles and had been learning the mysteries of Heaven at his feet for months, possibly years, and they still doubted themselves. It gives me a lot of perspective. Where am I in my relation to Christ? Am I left asking the question "Lord, is it I?" It gives you a lot to think about.

Sorry to those who normally read my blog for TV show recommendations or pop culture tidbits--it is amazing how teaching a class on scripture every morning at 6am can change your life--and the focus of said life. Oh, I'm still addicted to my TV shows (though I've had to get creative since we cancelled cable) and I still read wayy to many blogs, and never enough books; but I regularly have a 50 minute lesson on Christ running around in my brain all day. Until it is time to work on the next one. It is amazing how it makes you look at the world differently. My coworkers keep saying, "You are smiling so much! What's so funny?" Nothing is funny. I'm at work, and I am smiling. Has it been so long since I smiled? I know that cancer sucked all the energy out of me, but have I stopped smiling so much it has been an endangered species with me?

Every year at this time is my little alumni event (and in April). Yes, I know, Happy Birthday to me. But a wonderful little lady always sends this little card along. On the back it asks, "If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?"  At this moment, I think the answer would be yes, but I'm not sure if all my life is so reflective.

I am working on it. Partially for when the Lord speaks about his betrayal, my heart won't automatically question, "Lord, is it I?"  But more so that when he asks "Art thou my good and faithful servant?" I can say, "Lord, it is I."