Due to her crazy nightmares about getting stuck in a car in a lake, one Christmas we got a funky hammer thing that will pop your air bag, slash your seat belt, provide a flashlight, and crack your window/windshield. Another Christmas, she gave us this nifty little thing that gives your battery a charge if you can't find someone near you with jumper cables. And every so often, she sends insanely paranoid forwards (okay, she sends forwards all the time, but often they are of the paranoid warning variety that have usually been proven false) I am pretty sure that she has sent this exact email at least 4 other times--if not more (I don't read them all--and I know B doesn't). By the way, snopes.com hilariously refutes a lot of it here.
So, note to self for this Thursday, don't get kidnapped and horribly murdered.