Friday, March 2, 2012

The C word

Cancer is a reality. It is terrifying to most people. Though I know people who have suffered and died from it, it doesn't completely seem real when they say it in relation to you personally. My endocrinologist, who will be replaced with someone else after all of this, played it down so much that yesterday when I heard, "You have a 50-75% probability of cancer," I felt gobsmacked. "Taken aback" doesn't seem to cover it enough. the fear associated with cancer is terrifying and yet surreal. One minute you are talking about silly things, and the next you are talking about radiation and survival rates. It takes a day to sink in, and 24 hours later you are still stunned.

Survival rate of someone diagnosed with thyroid cancer before they are 40 is 100%, so thank you, Heavenly Father. At the same time, the next couple of weeks, possibly stretching into months isn't going to be fun. If you have an extra little corner to your prayers, tuck me in--I think I could use a little love. I'm going to be fine (I cannot begin to tell you how many people want to tell you that--over and over--and you get a little tired of your experience drowning in a sea of "fine"). Wish me peace and calm and the ability to actually experience the emotions I am going through rather than painting them over with fine--and maybe a hug.

ETA: Thanks for all the well-wishes. I'm going to need them!  It is also funny to find out who actually reads my blog.  Love you!

8 comments:

handygal said...

Oh T I am so sorry. You will be added to my prayers for sure. Cancer is a terrifying reality as well as word. The best thing to remember is to take it easy. If you don't feel like doing something someday use the C word to your advantage. ((HUGS))

Bradley said...

T, all my love and prayers. Let me know what I can do (Royal Red burger, little pink, no veggies, freckled lemonade, ranch dipping sauce)--I'm on it.

Amy said...

(I can't type disgruntled noises so just imagine them!)I am sorry you have had such distressing news. If anybody can get through it, you can! You are tough as nails! Seriously! Sending love and prayers your way!

jojo said...

T, we wish you peace and calm. Lots of love coming your way from the Olsens.

Martin said...

I know you can beat this. Anything I can do just let me know.

Kelly Ann said...

I am sorry, that stinks but I am glad that everything will turn out good. I know you will get through it just fine. You will be in my prayers.

The Therapist said...

You are always in my thoughts and prayers. I just wish we weren't so far away so I could physically be there for you as well. *hugs*

Mellarsonl828 said...

I don't know if you remember me but our family (the Rude's) thinks of you and yours often. In fact, mom and I were just thinking about you all today and so through the magic that is social networking I found you...and your blog...
We will certainly lift you up in prayer - I see that you're probably several weeks in to treatment already so I hope that things are going well and you are doing okay. I will bookmark your blog so I can catch if you have any updates ;)
Peace and prayer and healing to you.

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