Cancer is a reality. It is terrifying to most people. Though I know people who have suffered and died from it, it doesn't completely seem real when they say it in relation to you personally. My endocrinologist, who will be replaced with someone else after all of this, played it down so much that yesterday when I heard, "You have a 50-75% probability of cancer," I felt gobsmacked. "Taken aback" doesn't seem to cover it enough. the fear associated with cancer is terrifying and yet surreal. One minute you are talking about silly things, and the next you are talking about radiation and survival rates. It takes a day to sink in, and 24 hours later you are still stunned.
Survival rate of someone diagnosed with thyroid cancer before they are 40 is 100%, so thank you, Heavenly Father. At the same time, the next couple of weeks, possibly stretching into months isn't going to be fun. If you have an extra little corner to your prayers, tuck me in--I think I could use a little love. I'm going to be fine (I cannot begin to tell you how many people want to tell you that--over and over--and you get a little tired of your experience drowning in a sea of "fine"). Wish me peace and calm and the ability to actually experience the emotions I am going through rather than painting them over with fine--and maybe a hug.
ETA: Thanks for all the well-wishes. I'm going to need them! It is also funny to find out who actually reads my blog. Love you!