For B

She's helping me through a crazy moment tomorrow night, so I thought I would post something for her. Because she loves Oprah so much. . .


Enjoy,
T

Go Fish

Today was Luke 5-6. We started with the tale of Simon (called Peter) and his boats. In verse 10, the fishing expedition is explained, "Fear Not, from henceforth thou shalt catch men."

So then we gathered around the little 2'x2' table I use as a desk, and the six of us played Go Fish (black 5 to black five, red King to Red King, etc). A-5, a blessing out of chapter 6 (sermon on the mount) that will help you find men for The Lord, 6-10, a warning of the type of people you should avoid becoming (the "woe" verses), J-K and the Jokers, a parable or analogy from Christ that will help you teach or support the people you will encounter (near the end of 6). And we discussed what they meant.

And then I sent them out to be fishers of men to find those searching for his truth.

Sometimes they are hard to read, but sometimes they will surprise you with an almost involuntary, "this is fun!"

It was. I could have played for much longer.

Daylight Savings is weird

My second time teaching the crucifixion and resurrection (Mark). We started on Thursday by comparing Psalm 22 to the end of Mark 15--and the fact that Mark does it backwards in order to make us realize that Christ is joining with us to save us. Then today we filled out the physical map of it all, starting in Mark 14, all the way to Mark 16.

The weirdest part had to be going outside after, and there was light. I've gotten so used to living in the dark ever since we've started, that watching the sunlight filter over everything felt so out of place. But it reminded me that the sun always rises, and we will know when he comes again.

Great Covers

I've been enjoying some fantastic covers lately. Enjoy. . .

A quick seminary check in

October went a little crazy. Seminary is still going well. Our lesson this week on sacrifice was probably one of my favorites.

Specifically done around the Widow's mite (Mark 12:41-44), we made lists. Take a minute and think about it--not just in a vague way, but seriously.

Write a list of five:
1. Things you love
2. Things you want
3. Things you'd take with you to a deserted island
4. Things you've worked hard for
5. Things you would sacrifice for a family member
6. Things you would sacrifice for the Gospel/Christ

Then we shared one from each. It actually was one of my favorite lessons from the last few weeks--and we really got to know each other better, while realizing the depth of the Widow's sacrifice.

Lord, is it I?

I think I forgot that Matthew 26 covers so much.  We actually went through it today piece by piece--the meeting of the Sanhedrin determining when to take the Savior away; the non-negotiation with Judas for 30 pieces of silver--the price you paid a man if you killed one of his slaves; the Passover; the institution of  sacrament and the New testament of Christ; a singing of a hymn (Matthew 26:30) before Gethsemane and the mount of Olives; "Could you not wait for me an hour?"; "Father if thou wilt, remove this cup from me;" the betrayal of Christ; His declaration of the need for what was about to come; the appearance before Caiphus, and the denial of Peter. As the first of four, I taught this one pretty literally.

The thing that stood out to me the most happened way before most of it.  Christ foretells his betrayal. And instead of pointing fingers at that guy who's been acting weird lately, Judas--they all ask the question, "Lord, is it I?" They were his apostles and had been learning the mysteries of Heaven at his feet for months, possibly years, and they still doubted themselves. It gives me a lot of perspective. Where am I in my relation to Christ? Am I left asking the question "Lord, is it I?" It gives you a lot to think about.

Sorry to those who normally read my blog for TV show recommendations or pop culture tidbits--it is amazing how teaching a class on scripture every morning at 6am can change your life--and the focus of said life. Oh, I'm still addicted to my TV shows (though I've had to get creative since we cancelled cable) and I still read wayy to many blogs, and never enough books; but I regularly have a 50 minute lesson on Christ running around in my brain all day. Until it is time to work on the next one. It is amazing how it makes you look at the world differently. My coworkers keep saying, "You are smiling so much! What's so funny?" Nothing is funny. I'm at work, and I am smiling. Has it been so long since I smiled? I know that cancer sucked all the energy out of me, but have I stopped smiling so much it has been an endangered species with me?

Every year at this time is my little alumni event (and in April). Yes, I know, Happy Birthday to me. But a wonderful little lady always sends this little card along. On the back it asks, "If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?"  At this moment, I think the answer would be yes, but I'm not sure if all my life is so reflective.

I am working on it. Partially for when the Lord speaks about his betrayal, my heart won't automatically question, "Lord, is it I?"  But more so that when he asks "Art thou my good and faithful servant?" I can say, "Lord, it is I."

Moments to treasure

Today we said goodbye to two of my girls. They are moving tomorrow to the Midwest (Missouri), and so we had a treat (Monkeybread! Thanks, Air) and played General Conference Trivia.

My favorite moment was a little snippet at the end. Miss Mad was on her way out and said, "I love your teaching style," and then went her way. As I treasured my two little hugs from Mad and her sister Mack, I was grateful that this hard, work-heavy calling is mine. Even if just for the moment.

Monday Mornings & Seminary

Mondays are hard. After worrying a goodly portion of yesterday about how I am going to teach the first of four "last week of the Savior" lessons, I just gave it over to the Lord. They are his kids--I just crawl out of bed every morning, yelling at myself as if I were my mother--there is a lot of "First Name, Middle Name" scoldings that go on between 5 and 5:15 am. I semi-swear at my car for whining at me to put on my seat belt (just explode already!), and I half-yell at the stupid light at the corner of S. Roxboro and MLK for taking sooooo long.

And then I drag myself in--rather than arriving the 10 minutes before as I planned, it was only 5 minutes--possibly 3--the latest I've been since starting a little over a month ago. And a member of the D2 bishopric has decided to visit. Seriously? On a Monday? That is just cruel.

I say a prayer that somehow I will make it through Matthew 24 (And Joseph Smith-Matthew, which I always forget about) and have something good to say. The rest of the week, though much more intense, seems much easier somehow. And despite feeling not as prepared and knowing that the lesson is only okay, I am surprised as things come out of my mouth I didn't even remember that I knew--and other things I never prepared for. Despite everything, I am pleasantly surprised that it went well. Especially when the Brother walks up to me and says, "Thank you--that lesson was fantastic! I wish I had more time for stuff like this!"

And as I drive to work, I think about all the other people on the road, and how they don't even know that seven freshman and sophomores (and one adult man) and I had a gospel discussion on the second coming as taught by Christ this morning. No matter what I do today, I know that the accomplishment of getting through that lesson was probably the most important thing that I will do. And it was all done before the sun came up.

Mostly for A

This show has gotten so good this season. And due to my complete and utter love of the A&E Lorna Doone from a few years back, I was especially swayed by Simon--a new operative on the scene.

Seriously, we need to track me down a cute British guy to date. Maybe B's friend Gareth can hook me up. He doesn't even need to be a slightly dangerous bad boy or charming mystery man. 

The haunting music at the end of the episode is probably my favorite. Also it underscores a really sweet and really upsetting scene, so the juxtaposition is even more upsetting. Sigh. . .

Because some people have asked. . .

And it can't hurt to keep a record:

Tuesday, Sept 4 - hand out various scriptures. Talk about various things we learn from the New Testament (the nature of the Godhead, Non-judgement, the sacrament, love thy neighbor, baptism for the dead, etc.). Here are the scriptures if you are interested:

2 Timothy 3:15	Revelations 1:7
2 Timothy 3:16	John 14:26
2 Timothy 3:17	Matthew 7:2
John 17:3	Acts 10:34
Matthew 3:17	Acts 9:3-6
John 3:17	Matthew 26:28 (specifically footnote c)
Acts 17:24	Colossians 3:5-6
Hebrews 1:2	1 Thessalonians 4:16
Romans 2:16

Wednesday, Sept. 5  - books of the NT cup stacking: Took Blue and Red Solo cups, wrote the books of the NT near the lip, and we were in two groups seeing who could stack in order the fastest. And then I taught the make-up of the NT, and they had to reorganize into Gospels, history, Epistles, Revelation. we've also done backwards (Here are some more: http://pinterest.com/tkangaroo/seminary/). and we did this:  http://www.jennysmith.net/lds-activity/the-first-week-study-helps-jeopardy-mentorsminions - click on it--it takes you to a site that lets you play as a group.

Thursday, Sept. 6 - Plan of Salvation Art Project. They got together in groups of two and I gave them a poster board and a bunch of markers/crayons, paint pens, etc. Using the following terms: pre-existence, eternal life, fall, creation, atonement and the four principles and ordinances of the gospel and the following scriptures:

Abraham 3:22	Abraham 3:25
Moses 1:39	Alma 41:3-6
3 Nephi 12:48	1 Corinthians 15:35
Abraham 3:24-7	1 Corinthians 15:40-42
2 Nephi 2:22-5	Romans 8:17
2 Nephi 9:6-10	2 Nephi 9:25
Alma 42:9-15	Article of Faith 4
Helaman 14:15-17	Article of Faith 3

Friday, Sept 7 - Scripture Mastery Yoga

Monday, Sept. 10 - Between Old and New Testament. Talked History and background of the time period between, the gospel writers, and the various factions in Christ's time (Sadducees, pharisees, etc.). Added quizzes in every five to ten on the information I was teaching, and chucked candy at their heads if they could answer.

Tuesday, Sept. 11 - Matthew 1-2, Talked about background a little of those two chapters and played a memory-type game. Using face cards (8-A, matching black to black and red to red of corresponding numbers), I used masking tape on each and wrote (with a sharpie) various scriptures on them. On one black 8, I put an old testament scripture, on the other a prophecy fulfilled in Matthew. Mostly using the scriptures here under the heading:
Matthew 1:22–23. The birth and life of Jesus Christ fulfilled many promises made to ancient prophets.

Wednesday, Sept. 12 - Talked about the nature of the Godhead, and the baptism of Christ. Did a lot of journaling about what they remembered about their baptism, and ways they can try to grow closer to the Godhead (Matt 3).

Thursday, Sept 13 - Taking a clear vase filled with water, I dropped a clementine into it after asking if it will float or sink (it floats). Then I peeled it and asked again. Dropping in the peeled orange (it sinks), we talked about making a good covering to prepare us to interact with the world (Matthew 4)  We talked about why we fast and the temptations of Christ. All temptations come under three categories: appetite, vanity, or power/riches. They took turns rolling a clementine towards the front of the room. Whichever the clementine landed near (I had three "pins"), they were in one of those groups. Together they came up with ten temptations relating to whichever of the three they were in that they could come across daily in their life, i.e. appetite--too many video games, vanity--being mean to someone because you wanted to show you were cool, power/riches--trying to be in charge in a group just so you could show that you were powerful. After five minutes, we rolled again. The new groups had to come up with solutions to the 10 that could help them create a better covering. They had five more minutes. Then they had to share three of them with the group.

Friday, Sept 14 - Updated the cards (added in 2-7) with questions from the Monday's lesson, i.e. A person: Matthew And a description: An Apostle who wrote to convince the Jews. Or a group: the Sanhedrin and a description: a body of 71 Jews and a High Priest that Rome put in charge of Jewish law.  Or a country: Egypt and a description: Probably stole the ark of the covenant during their government of Israel, rotated Yoga, stacking game, and the cards (the winner of variations of the stacking game got to choose the activity next).

Monday, Sept. 24 - 8 Steps to Joy - Matthew 3-12? I think. Anyway, the beatitudes - We talked about how learning to take on those things draws us closer to Christ and helps us become better. Then I did a puzzle as described here under the heading
Matthew 5; 7:15–27 (see also Luke 6:20–36, 44–49). If we do our best to keep the commandments, the Lord can make us perfect.

Tuesday, Sept. 25 - Brought in a lamp, my phone (that is a flashlight, too), and glow in the dark sticks. Started in the dark with the Matt 5:14-16 Yoga position, and went from there. Talked about different properties of light. Spent 5 minutes writing different types after I demonstrated a few. Then we spent 5 more minutes explaining how Christ is like those different types -- writing in their journals, then sharing around the group.  Then did the old stick a card on your back with the scriptures under the topic heading:
Matthew 5:21–48 (see also Luke 6:29–36). Christ fulfilled the law of Moses and restored the gospel fulness, bringing the higher law. I wrote the old testament and new testament scriptures on post-its, stuck it on their backs, and they had to find their partner. They could ask Yes, or no questions and Identify old or new testaments, but no more. They had to find the ancient prophecy, and how Christ Fulfilled it. Finally we talked about the things the Lord taught about Prayer and how it was important. The guy from the bishopric made it through the first half--and got a post-it on his back for his trouble.

Wednesday, Sept 19 - Matt 8-9, His Miracles. Today I made them fill out the grid shown here under the topic of Matthew 8–10 (see also Mark 1:29–34; 4:35–6:11; Luke 4:38–41; 5:17–26; 7:1–9:5; 11:14). The different kinds of miracles the Lord performed show that He has power over all things. He shared this power with the Apostles. We talked about where in other books those types of miracles show up (after they identified them, and we talked about them), and we talked about miracles today--and the priesthood being the power that helps perform miracles, but that really all you need is faith. And I talked about Daddy falling off the roof when I was in fifth grade and how if it weren't for a blessing, he probably would not have made it, and he was preserved because our family needed him more at that moment.  I shared a lot about me today. It was a little more of a somber class.

Tomorrow is the calling of the apostles and Friday will be more Yoga, a rehash of cups, and I am going to peel off some of the tape on the cards, and add in more stuff we've talked about this week. And maybe revisit the scripture help jeopardy from Day 2.

I'll share more as the days progress.

On the way to work today

Sitting at a red light, counting the at least ten Priuses in the Whole Foods parking lot, I realize my Prius is in a line of four headed by a smart car at the light.

"Have I over-embraced the Hippie culture of my place of residence?" I think. Then I think of my 9-gallon tank and the 450 miles it covers.

And I shrug.

Seminary So far

B says if I was a teacher, it would be at a Montessori School. She's not wrong. 

I've come up with art projects (plan of salvation, sermon on the mount), games (a mix of party games, learning games, matching games, you name it), journaling (remembering, goals, etc), group work (team competitions, planning), and crazy intros (today it was by lamplight, flashlight, and glow-in-the-dark).  Not to mention scripture mastery yoga. 

I think the kids are responding well. I don't think you can gauge fully because most teenagers don't want to show that they care about things, but I think they like me. 

I had my first visitor today from the D2 bishopric. I felt slightly intimidated, especially since this was a crazy day for me--I was trying something new.  But, I think he enjoyed it and got something out of it, so I don't think they'll remove me right away for being my crazy self. 

So very, very tired. . . and ready to run away.

For the last three days, I've been practicing. Leaving the house by 5:30/5:40am and driving to the church building (and lesson planning). I no longer need the GPS to get there (it isn't my usual church building), and I am pretty sure I have the first four days of lessons set.

I also realized that B and I probably won't see each other so much for the next little while. I think for at least the first couple weeks, I'll be napping from 5-7, then packing breakfast/lunch, and in bed for real by 9:30. I can also tell that my eyes are super dry--by 10 am, I am usually blinking a lot, and the last 1/2 hour of work, there is a lot of eye-rubbing, but I expect to get used to it. Hopefully. 

I am escaping this weekend with some old friends, and I cannot even wait. Though, the girls at the beach this weekend may get to do some Scripture Mastery Yoga with me--and maybe help me make a few posters. I need a runaway vacation with people I love. I fully expect to get my hair played with while we sing at the top of our lungs to something delightful--and I get to feel ten years younger.

Second thoughts

I've been genuinely excited about my calling but in the last few days, I've grown to loath it--and I haven't even started school yet. Add me to your prayers, please. I'm going to need it.

I had cancer this year, and at the moment it seems that dealing with parents may be more stressful.

Sigh...

Nashville Dreaming. . .

No, I'm not running away to join the Opry. I'm running to visit Amanda this weekend. We are doing something that, in B's mind, is incredibly dorky. She doesn't get that the most fun you have in this life is when you embrace the crazy.

We're going to a concert put on by none other than Alexz Johnson (yes, her name spelling bugs me, too)--who used to be Canada's Instant Star, Jude Harrison. No, she didn't change her name. Long before Glee, there was a show where they sang songs every week. Well written (and some cheesy), original songs that were catchy and gorgeous. As this Canadian songbird is touring the states, we're going to see her.







I know--its a little cheesy.  But I don't care. . . No JEs!!!

Best Part of the Depot Last Night. . .

Making B sing the Boy/Girl from Impanema.

I'm not saying we were like this. . .



But maybe a little. . .

Also, John K (my guitarist friend), says that this group always reminds him of me now.  How awesome are they--well, at least their names.



Happy Thursday.

A song in your heart

I'm dragging a visiting S to the Depot tonight. B may even come, too.

What may be on the table. . .









A gaggle of Ruchs and maybe a Countess DeWinters-Hoffman.

ETA: Sadly, my guitarist can't make it tonight. Maybe next week...

Scripture Mastery Yoga

Be limber--use one a day, or run the whole thing for about an hour yoga session, but stretch a little first--my knees got creaky. Just in case you need the passages. All thanks go to AP for helping me make this work!

Matthew 5:14-16 - Raised Hands pose (light of the world)
Matthew 6:24 - Opposite Hand/Head stretch (switch at "or else")
Matthew 16:15-19 - Knee hold (switch at "Thou art Peter"--if needed, use a chair)
Matthew 25:40 - Pose of offering (raised hands--into backbend)
Luke 24:36-39 - Prayer hands at heart
John 3:5 - Happy Baby or Side push mountain
John 7:17 - Mountain
John 10:16 - 5 pointed star (spread eagle)
John 14:15 - Goddess Squat (10 Commandments)
John 17:3 - Moon Pose (orbit through the verse)
Acts 7:55-56 - Extended side angle (a verse per side)
Romans 1:16 - Warrior 1
1 Corinthians 10:13 - Chair Pose
1 Corinthians 15:20-22 - Tree pose
1 Corinthians 15:29 - Reverse Warrior
1 Corinthians 15:40-42 - Sun Salute (easier variation)
Ephesians 4:11-14 - Eagle (for unity--just hands for those who aren't that limber)
2 Thessalonians 2:1-3 - Shiva Twist (Shiva isn't a Son of Perdition, but is crazy enough to seem off-kilter)
2 Timothy 3:1-5 - Wide-legged, forward bend (navel-gazing--toes in, heels out)
2 Timothy 3:16-17 - Warrior 2
Hebrews 5:4 - Toe Touch (Aaron bowed before the Lord)
James 1:5-6 - Triangle pose (reach up to God)
James 2:17-18 - Strong Armed Mountain (Left arm to the square=faith, Right arm to the square=works)
Revelation 14:6-7 - Bound Forward fold (arms in back are the wings of the Angel)
Revelation 20:12-13 - Corpse pose

Here is my little poster (I can email it to you if you want a pdf):

Learning to like mornings, yoga, and a trip to the Depot

Just some things I've been doing lately.

- Moving back my wake up time--This doesn't work so well if I don't get to bed early enough. Monday morning, semi-okay. 6:00 am didn't work out so well. But going to bed the night before at 8 was delightful--I felt well-rested and ready to go. I did get scripture study in, but I went back to sleep. So, I tried earlier on Tuesday morning. Turns out if you go to bed at 11:40 pm, then 5:45 is too early, and by the time you have done scripture study until 6:15, you are thinking that a half-hour power nap would be perfect. Third morning, turns out 9 will have to be my bedtime if I can get up at 5. Mostly because 10:30 pm led to me looking at the alarm clock at 5:30, and saying, "meh."

- Coming up with 25 yoga poses to correlate with Scripture Mastery--post to follow.

- Expecting to sleep late again tomorrow, as tonight at 8pm, I am hitting open mic night (so more like 8:30) at the Depot, if you are bored.

The Gods MUST be crazy

Well at least one of them. This morning I received the most daunting calling I've ever received. Some certifiable person decided that because I did so well at Primary, then I must be a good teacher (Don't they know in primary if you lesson doesn't go well, you give the kids a piece of paper and some crayons and let them draw something lesson related?).

Guess who is the new seminary teacher for the next two years? Can we say blindsided? Not even on my radar of "callings for Taunja." For 160 days (twice), I'll be teaching five days a week throughout the school year. New Testament and then Book of Mormon. Whoa.

I'm terrified and excited. And terrified.

I'm going to have to change my life to make this work. No, seriously. 6am call time, half an hour away. No more roll out of bed, grab something for breakfast/lunch out of the pantry, off to work (in 15 minutes). I'm going to have to be an adult and actually schedule my life (outside of work--not just fun activities).

When you teach little kids one day a week, it is okay if you aren't super great--they have parents for that. When you teach teenagers five days a week for two years, you could actually screw them up if you aren't good.

Things I've thought about since 8:45 this morning (the high councilor was late):

1. Is this a joke? 
2. Whoa?
3. Are you sure? 
4. Um, really?
5. That is a lot.
6. Whoa.
7. Seriously?
8. Okay, what do I remember about seminary?
9. Brother Snyder's car.
10. Various basements
11. Brother Wilkinson
12. Lee Poor
13. Sister Simonson
14. Daniel Ames being a jerk to the teacher
15. Nathan fearing for his life as we sped to seminary in the mornings
16. Being tired a lot. 
17. Apfelskevers
18. Friday morning muffins
19. Showers in the dark (which I still do)
20. Okay, what do I want to accomplish if I am actually going to do this?
21. Life isn't perfect.
22. Life isn't what you think it is going to be, and your plans are not God's plans.
23. The Gospel isn't just for the kids who are sitting at the front of the class
24. I am not going to be a usual teacher--I hope they are okay with that.
25. No Judging Eyes--I can't wait to teach a host of teenagers about JEs.
26. If there is any place that is going to be safe, it is going to be my classroom.
27. Friday morning breakfasts if they seem to be engaged during the week. 
28. Seriously, teenagers? I hated my high school years. Well, I hated parts of them--middle school was worse.
29. Um, I am not a scriptorian. How on earth am I going to teach a bunch of kids to love the scriptures?
30. Is this actually a prank? 
31. Whoa.
32. Deep breaths
33. I think cancer may have been easier. 

And lots of lots of prayer. And tears.

Sometimes the Lord likes to lob a bunch out to left field. Turns out, I am his favorite left fielder. And I am trying my darnedest to catch it. Here goes nothing.

Art and a Song. . .

Music in the Galleries: Tea Cup Gin

Sunday, 17 June, 2:00 PM 

Every third Sunday of the month, enjoy music in the Ackland galleries. A wide variety of performers can be heard, from classical quartets to bluegrass, to enhance your Museum experience.

This Sunday, Tea Cup Gin plays jazz and show tunes from the early 20th century, drawing inspiration from performers such as Jelly Roll Morton, Fats Waller, Hoagy Carmichael, W.C. Handy, and Billie Holiday.

Free and open to the public.


I am singing in place of Miss Patti (TCG's lead singer). One hour: two guitars, an upright bass, and me--singing some jazz. . . 


Ain't Misbehavin'
Summertime
St. James Infirmary
Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered
Favorite Things
I'd Rather Go Blind
Walkin' After Midnight
Loverman 
St. Louis Blues
Stormy Weather


It should be a good time. 

Cancelled (One More)

June 9th at Bocce is cancelled. I'll be singing a little on June 9th, but I won't be doing the whole gig. Sad.

I will be doing an hour at the Ackland Museum (free) at 2pm on June 17th.

Oh well. . .

Cancellations

I hate this time of year, as I find out what TV shows I have emotionally become attached to are now cancelled. So, let's take this moment to say goodbye. . .

Aloha Alcatraz; sadly, we'll never know if Rebecca is really gone.  And thank you for a partnership as great as Doc and Rebecca's--which was one of the best parts of the show. I loved the odd family interactions, and the mystery, though sometimes the murderer of the week was unsettling.

Auf Wiedersehen, Awake. Sadly,  you were too intricate for the American public, though you were fascinating.

Bu-bye Bent and Best Friends Forever--I barely knew you existed until you were axed, but you had some great casts, and fun potential. Sorry your networks didn't care. You were actually somewhat cute and real, and different from the million shows around. Bent reminded me of working for Daddy, and BFF was totally a throw-back to My Boys, but with girls.

Farewell to the Finder.  I enjoyed your crazy antics, and your so-much-better-for-USA guy and partner with a fun ensemble. I loved Michael Clarke Duncan and Walter's partnership, and I thought the Willa spin was interesting.

Easy Come and Easy Go, Eureka--you have made me smile more than a few times over the years, and I would love to have my own Carter, or to be Jo, or to live in a town like Eureka--Cafe Diem at ComicCon was my favorite place to hit every time I was in town.

Goodbye GCB, you made me happy on a regular basis. Someone find Kristin Chenoweth and Annie Potts a show, stat!  I also loved how this became a female friendship building, scripture quoting, somewhat inappropriate, but delightful little show. Miriam Schor, your Cricket Caruth-Riley was delightful!

I will miss you, In Plain Sight.  Thank you for tying up your loose ends, making five seasons of overlooked greatness, and still providing a well-earned finale that didn't pander too much to the shippers.

Pleasant Journey, Prime Suspect, you started slightly stilted, but made up for it with gorgeous visuals and a slowly cohesive ensemble. I started to love you just as they pulled the plug.

Adieu, Unforgettable, you were a great little show, and we were finally about to get into the mystery of it all. It bugs me that I know this had higher ratings than a ton of shows that are staying on--sorry that on CBS, that doesn't cut it.

There are a ton that I'm worried about, Cougar Town, Community without Dan Harmon, Person of Interest, but hopefully, they will iron out the problems (well, Community is going to be a long shot) for the new year.

ETA: Sayonara, Sanctuary. I just found out about your cancellation, and, after enjoying you for four seasons, am super depressed. 

Singing as Therapy

I find that there is a moment where you get to forget everything around you and just be.  No, it isn't in that half asleep/half awake part of a massage, it is that half terrifying/half perfection moment when you can tell from a stage that a group is responding to you.  Or an old man asks you for your CD as he collects local artists, and he really would love to have my "sound."

I can tell my voice isn't quite where it needs to be, but I'm working my way back, right?

Here is a little taste--not as good as I want them to be, but for a practice, they are alright.







Realize these were shot by my iphone leaning against a strawberry lemonade bottle, so turn off the JEs.

The Depot return

Tonight I'm practicing at the Depot for the June 9 gig.  Summertime, Walkin' After Midnight, and I'd Rather go Blind.  If you are bored, and near the Depot in Hillsborough tonight at 8ish, swing by.





All from my set list!

 Bocci, June 9, 2012:

1. Ain't Misbehavin

2. Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered

3. Don't Fence Me In

4. Girl From Ipanema

5. Stormy Weather

6. St James Infirmary

7. Can't Take That Away From Me

8. Favorite Things

9. All of Me

10. I'd Rather Go Blind

11. Up a Lazy River

12. Dream a Little Dream

13. Lover Man

14. After You've Gone

15. St Louis Blues

16. Stardust

17. Can't Help Lovin That Man

18. Black Coffee

19. Georgia on My Mind

20. Closer Walk with Thee

21. Glory of Love

22. Autumn Leaves

23. It's Only a Paper Moon

24. Button Up Your Overcoat

25. Mean to Me

26. Summer Time

27. Stompin at the Savoy

28. Fly Me to the Moon

29. Walking After Midnight

30. Mack the Knife

31. You Don't Know Me

32. If I Had You/Dixie Knows

 Also at the Ackland as a duet act on June 17.

I need more sleep.

How I have felt the last few days--okay maybe weeks.

Color in your cheeks

Your sister walks in (6 ft radius!), and you obviously haven't done much besides take a shower that day.  "Wow! You look better."

"Um, liar."

"No, really, there is color in your cheeks. You don't look as. . . pale."

"Wan?"

"What is Wan?"

"Really pale."

From m-w.com:

¹wan

 adj \ˈwän\

1

a : suggestive of poor health : sickly, pallidb : lacking vitality : feeble

"Well, you were looking nearly dead for a while there."

"I kind of noticed." 

"But you are looking better, now!"

"Kind of like a person?"

"Kind of like a person."

And that, my friends, is what a couple days of thyroid meds will do for you.  Let you sleep, and make you feel kind of like a person. 

Thanks for all the help so far, friends and family! We've got three more months until I am at full person status, but kind-of-like-a-person status has been achieved (and thank you so much to J.B.L. for a chocolate shake and fries on Saturday night, that was the highlight of my weekend).  

Funny things you notice late at night

You are too tired to lift an eating utensil. Eating has become a chore you need to do, but not that you want. However, as you scarf down a bowl of fruit your sister has brought up to your door, you realize it is the best thing you've tasted in forever, and that you are, in fact, hungry. Sadly, you have to rest for a while between bites because you really are that tired.

 You start to wonder if this is really some kind of hazing ritual, and you don't really have cancer--they just want to see how long you can hold out with a quarantine of 6 ft. and severe hypothyroidism.


You are too tired to read or even watch tv, but your body aches so you cannot actually sleep. You don't want to talk to anyone as your moods flail wildly and your tears would be extra radioactive, so they rather you don't cry if you can help it. Also, talking requires energy, and you don't have any.

You are back in the bath, praying for the thyroid meds you get tomorrow, and again wondering when the bathroom clock stopped at 9:43 and you've missed it for how long now?

And you kind of wish not to feel your left foot again like it was after surgery, as it is the one that won't stop throbbing and let you sleep. You are stuck playing Draw Something with random strangers as it is all you have left--that or dominoes because endless counting to fives is easy...

 Is it morning yet?

Freezing and almost radiant

After sitting in a tube in the most uncomfortable position for over an hour (and feeling like they have dislocated your arms), you are moved into a room, where there is the most random list of magazines and no blankets. Despite the fact that everyone in the hospital should hear your teeth chattering, you sit shivering by yourself taking "grounding breaths" to keep yourself calm. And you haven't even gone radioactive (well, completely) yet...

As someone who doesn't normally get cold, it is really upsetting to be cold deep into your bones. When you finally beg for a blanket, the heated one they bring to you has to feel like what heaven is--nestled in love and warmth, and grateful to not just feel sterile cold around you--that smells off...

The guys working on the ducts make so much noise you rethink every time you've rolled your eyes at spy movies where the protagonist crawls through huge air vents. It sounds like there is a small pygmie village in the walls.

Despite trying to keep a good attitude, you've been frozen, contorted, startled, ignored, and ordered about for four hours, and it is starting to wear thin. And despite calming music playing on a loop, being in the basement is killing your battery life, and all you want is for them to come check your license, so you can drink down a large radioactive dose of iodine.

Side note: magazines called Bird and Bloom and Opera Digest are real things! Gas Engine magazine has a gorgeous masthead.

And you finally drink down your dose, so a nice tech named Mike can tell you it is so late today, you have to wait two more hours before drinking anything (or eating) despite the fact that you haven't really eaten most of yesterday and all of today, and then the doctor tells you you have to wait yet another day for cheese, and oddly that is the point where you want to scream that it is all too much and you cannot take it anymore!

But you let Mike the tech run you over with a Geiger counter and "escort you from the premises," and it is all over, at least until next Wednesday when you have to do it again.

Sigh... I wish I weren't so cold--hospitals should stock complimentary snuggies.

Becoming Radiant

So they have to do one more blood test and I have to wait for an hour... Fasting, of course.

So, I need some help y'all. Peter Parker is Spiderman (radioactive spider bite); Bruce Banner is the Hulk (Gamma rays); and the X-men have fun names (genetic mutation), so as I will shortly have radioactive blood, I need a Superhero name. Please throw all ideas in the comments, and we'll vote this week during quarantine...

Home Stretch

Radiation and Quarantine this coming week.  I've gone dairy free (among other things) since April 16, and I miss cheese the most. I have even read about making cheese at home, and may even make squeaky cheese!  I'm getting ready to radiation proof the house, and figuring out my life post severe hypothyroid and stupid, funky diet.

I have learned cool things like, I hate veggies, except a very minor few, and I can only eat so much oatmeal.  I have learned how to make roasted red peppers (and will never buy them again!).  I have a go-to spaghetti recipe--which I had worked on ages ago, but have really never written down, now, the base is written down, and what you do to it can be played with (gluten free pasta is made without eggs).  Turns out I am okay with hard boiled eggs, though throwing away the yolks makes me feel sick.  They put sea salt in nearly all milk substitutes (except coconut milk beverage), and I really like cheese.  Like, I've dreamed of cheese, all different kinds.  I've looked up recipes for cheesy things (and meaty things), restaurants that have had amazing cheesy foods that have closed in my area but may still be open elsewhere, so I can get them--and cannot wait to make the torte from Felicia Day's flog episode 3--it looks divine (I kind of want her apron)! I am grouchy when I am hungry, but I don't like to eat things unless they are really good.  By the way, I have never really liked fries unless drowned in sauces, and now, I can make my own with paprika, garlic powder, and dill.

My kitchen needs cleaning (because when you have to cook all your own foods, you make a mess), especially when you are super exhausted all the time. KSB has been a dream, and hooked me up with bread and peeled and cut potatoes for oven fries for two weeks, and if anyone was going to be changed in a twinkling, it is she. Kale smoothies, y'all, and flatbread, and hummus, and she is amazing!

I am bloated, a little depressed, and achy, but I am hanging in there.  I am so glad to be able to take thyroid meds starting on Thursday (and for CS to bring me a cheesy, cheesy pizza! and BL to be a doll and bring me Red Robin!--at first, I thought on the same day, and now I am not sure. . . ).  Supposedly, I will be really, really tired, so I am making a pile of books I've been meaning to read, but may or may not get to them, and am thinking Alias/West Wing marathons while half awake. Though there will be some Dr. Mario and maybe some other marathoning (Buffy, Veronica Mars, Farscape, Lark Rise to Candleford, Witchblade, and Lost have all waved their hands in the air, as well as the lead up to the Avengers--Thor, Captain America, Iron Man 1&2, and you know I can do Jane Austen marathons for weeks on end).

It has been so long since I felt like a person, I am just looking forward to feeling like I am not waiting around for doctors to fix me.  And to engage in my life again (which you need energy for--Thursday cannot get here fast enough).  Though supposedly it will take me three months of figuring out my meds to get to fully functioning.  My therapist has been a dream through all this, and if you are going through cancer treatments, I would recommend therapy to everyone--if only to talk me down off the ledge when I wanted to chuck it all. 

Cancer free by the end of May, y'all! Hopefully.

On a complete side note, if you are around on June 9th, I have a gig singing at Bocci (well, technically in the courtyard) with my favorite little local jazz band. Patti, their normal singer, who does the most gorgeous version of La Vie en Rose I've ever heard, cannot sing that night, so I am going to be their vocalist. I just got the intimidating set list of 33 songs, and I am a little nervous, but SUPER excited. I'll post more closer to time, but 6:30pm on free cake night at Nantucket?  Easy peasy! 

Funny enough, one of my favorite recovery moments was singing for an hour at a wine tasting with John K--the amazing jazz guitarist from this group.  So fun!

Anyway, I know this is super meandering.  Just thank you for your help and prayers, and I figured it was time to update everyone again. 

Time to go make coconut milk, egg white, french toast. . .   I may need to buy a bread maker after this.

Broadway Baby, updates. . .

So Smash has been less than impressive, and is definitely for adults only, but the songs still make me smile.  Maybe I just want to be in a production. Vertigo, laryngitis, and everything. . .



The Workshop--sort of


A little more of the Workshop. . .



All why I would want to see this staged! :)

Here is the show I saw last night.


Ans this is the one I want to see this summer (though that will be in the Park with Amy Adams and Donna Murphy!



Good Christian Belles, though also adult only, also brings the musical laughs:



The Best ones from La Cheno recently--though she brings it every time. . .




I especially love an early one where she dedicated Jesus Take the Wheel to the widow of a man who died in a car crash. . . Horribly blasphemous, but really funny.

Side note: I am doing a gig soon--hold your calendar for June 9 at Bocci.  The TeaCups usual vocalist is busy, so they are getting a particular, soon-to-be-cancer-free, stand-in. Maybe I should get a hat. . . I'll need to talk to Roulette's Kara! :)

Home

I've been jamming on the Civil Wars for some time now--when TV and reading makes you dizzy, the only thing you have left is randomly dancing (and not falling to the left) to various tunes. So, of course their Pandora Station (with some Weepies added), have made for delightful listening. This one makes me smile whenever I hear it.  So, get up and dance along.



And a little Florence. . .

And then...

Tears streaming down your face after two hours of conference, and the Lord's Angel knocks at your door with groceries--even the ones you didn't ask for but were going to. And though crying turns to a coughing fit; the genuine tears of gratitude remind you that even if you feel like it may be time to handle your own life, the Lord is very much aware it is not, and one of the big lessons in this is you are not supposed to go through this alone. He has an army of angels he will continue to deploy if you continue to try, so give in!

I surrender, Lord; you know best.

Crazy sauce

They say when it rains it pours, and I normally subscribe to the notion that people get an equal share of good and bad luck; but this past month has led me to believe I may be wrong.

Thyroid cancer
Surgery
A pinched nerve that left my left foot paralyzed for a few days
Vertigo
Ten year anniversaries
Sinus, ear, and kidney infections
Acid reflux and weird gas bubbles
Bronchitis - possibly shared by both Rus now
Laryngitis
Fever
A debilitating cough that sounds like a lung is coming up in the process
A car-totaling, life flashes before your eyes wreck

I think that we may need to stay in all of April or we'll be the April fools.

Thank goodness for good friends and blessings that don't just laugh with you when yet another thing happens, but roll up their sleeves and ask how to help. We are incredibly blessed--though possibly also cursed.

Don't get me wrong--I know with the Lord I can handle all the things he thinks I can, but I believe it--we don't have to measure how much that is right now.

Mortality

And just when you think you can handle it all, the Lord decides to remind you that you need others.  It has been humbling and demoralizing but good for me to learn that I have thyroid cancer.  They took out my thyroid on March 13, and in a few weeks, I'll have radiation.  They keep reminding me that it is really cancer, and your brain gets it when they give you a printed off sheet of "your cancer." "If you have to get cancer, it is a really good one to get," is a familiar tune, and I am starting to get used to it.

I haven't had any of the odder side effects they have told me I would get--my voice has been fine (knock on wood), but I lost feeling in my left foot (and couldn't walk on it for a few days), had severe vertigo (nowhere near as funny as Lucille Two), and felt like I personally was making honey for the homeless due to the calcium storms. . .

It is funny how you need to be reminded of your own mortality every so often.  It is also funny that he chose now, when I would be awfully aware of it.

Two down, one to go.

Ten Years

I don't hurt as much, but I still hurt.
I don't cry as much, but I still cry.
It doesn't ache as much, but it still aches..
I don't want things for you as much, but I still dream about what your life could have been.
I wish I could see you laugh or grin or snark..
I could use a hug, B could use a kiss (you know the kind), and S could use a wrestling match.
I don't miss you as much. . . . Liar! I miss you tons.

The C word

Cancer is a reality. It is terrifying to most people. Though I know people who have suffered and died from it, it doesn't completely seem real when they say it in relation to you personally. My endocrinologist, who will be replaced with someone else after all of this, played it down so much that yesterday when I heard, "You have a 50-75% probability of cancer," I felt gobsmacked. "Taken aback" doesn't seem to cover it enough. the fear associated with cancer is terrifying and yet surreal. One minute you are talking about silly things, and the next you are talking about radiation and survival rates. It takes a day to sink in, and 24 hours later you are still stunned.

Survival rate of someone diagnosed with thyroid cancer before they are 40 is 100%, so thank you, Heavenly Father. At the same time, the next couple of weeks, possibly stretching into months isn't going to be fun. If you have an extra little corner to your prayers, tuck me in--I think I could use a little love. I'm going to be fine (I cannot begin to tell you how many people want to tell you that--over and over--and you get a little tired of your experience drowning in a sea of "fine"). Wish me peace and calm and the ability to actually experience the emotions I am going through rather than painting them over with fine--and maybe a hug.

ETA: Thanks for all the well-wishes. I'm going to need them!  It is also funny to find out who actually reads my blog.  Love you!

Smashing!

Yep, I'm addicted to a new show.  I cannot seem to get enough of it.  From moments of original music, to covers done super well, I will definitely need to get the soundtrack.  They do throw in moments of adult stuff that is dumb, and I totally want Tom's assistant to be hit by a bus, but other than that--I cannot get enough.

Enjoy. . .

Favorite from the first episode (the baseball number is also very good):


Favorites from the second:








Favorite from the third:


Favorites from the last episode:


It is amazing how well Miss Hilty does Marilyn. Uncanny! I did also enjoy Rumor Has It, but mostly because it felt like Center Stage to me (I loved the whole Chorus/Ensemble stuff).



Side note, I've never really wanted to drink but with all the Manhattan-throwing, I kind of want to--just to be able to dump it on someone.

Shrimp and Grits Throwdown

This past weekend the Carolina Inn did their first annual (hopefully) Shrimp and Grits Throwdown to benefit Table, a local charity that uses after school programs to find low income families who need food, and then feed them.  When I got the email about it, I thought, "$15 to taste a bunch of shrimp and grits for a few hours for charity?  Um, where do I sign up?" I told a bunch of people about it, but in the end, it was just me and R.  Oh well, their loss.

And what a loss it was. . .Check out the full post here.

Things I've done in the past few weeks

In no particular order.

Sang at the Depot three times (twice with a full band--there are bad Facebook photos to prove it!).  

Read three or four books--I'm losing count.

Finished Downton Abbey

Wanted more Downton Abbey, so made a bunch of work people watch the second season instead.

Live texted the Oscars and the Grammys (kind of)

Went to a Shrimp and Grits cook-off (more on that later)

Found out I may be having surgery, and what your thyroid does or doesn't do for you.

Hit the Roller Derby

Went roller skating for the first time since crashing a Primary Roller Skating party in Provo, UT for Ariel's birthday--in 2002 (so ten years).

Realized I used to be good at roller skating, but now have learned that roller skating is really a lesson in humility.

Enjoyed the fact that I am good at finding crazy things to do (If you want to get on my listserv, let me know!).

Was grateful for good friends

CLL - my twice a year event that sometimes kills me with anxiety

I got all my speakers for Legends this Spring! Yay!  I was a little worried that my fourth running of this event would be a disaster, but I have made it work--and when I found out I had secured a coveted speaker, I wanted to cry tears of relief. Sadly, the anxiety isn't over--the dumb thing takes place on Nate's birthday.  It is hard to believe it will have been 10 years.  I may need extra prayers on April 16th--for my sanity, not to find a sugar daddy. Though a sugar daddy would not be sneered at.

Loves!

Romance to a young T

A hint that I would love Downton Abbey all these years later should have been one of my favorite paintings in high school called The Singing Butler:

Fancy dress, a butler, dancing. . . It felt like what romance was to me--dancing with someone to the ends of the earth.  Another painting in this grouping is called Dance me to the end of love.

I love the Civil War's cover of Leonard Cohen's song by the same name. 

Doesn't it make you want to tango on a beach somewhere with someone you cannot live without? Tango like the ones the regular people dance in the streets in Evita (at 3:09ish--not necessarily So You Think You Can Dance tango--though if Pasha wanted to tango with me, I wouldn't say no).  

Or the tangos below. 

I may have to watch that movie again soon (and yes, that is Syndey's sister from Alias as the young ingenue). Maybe next on my list of fun things to do is tango lessons.  And then I can find this. . . 

Finding new music

Okay, the Grammys are one of my favorite nights. No, I don't care about the awards, I love the performances--sometimes you only get one or two amazing ones, but it is worth it for the new artists I find.  I'll never forget seeing Adele for the first time. . .



By the end of the night, I downloaded her entire album, 19. I like all the music awards because of the performances--there was nothing redeeming about the VMAs, except for Adele's moment.



Here is this year's (How much do I want to be one of her backup singers???):



I will never forget hearing Empire State of Mind or being a proud Mama when Mumford and Sons performed last year because I had been listening to them for a while--and it had to be a dream come true to play with Dylan. I've found many, many other bands whose albums have had an impact in different places of my life.

My favorite from last year was the tribute to Amy Winehouse, in particular Bruno Mars' portion. Love the shot of Adele singing along.



He was actually one of my favorites from this year, too. He seems like he would be an amazing show--very throwback to an older type of music, but still fresh.



The band I found this year?  The Civil Wars. Their intro to Taylor Swift sold me--tongue in cheek they implied that all the groups before were their opening acts (including a "very promising young man from Liverpool"--Paul McCartney). I cannot find it on youtube or it would be up. I ended up downloading the entire CD, and I love the whole thing--they sing in that key that makes you feel it deep in your soul. . .

As a side note, I was shocked to love a Miley Cyrus performance (of a Bob Dylan song) recently. . . I know, I hate to admit it, too.

A Post-Valentine's Surprise

Tomorrow, I'm stopping in at The Depot once more.  In honor of a late Valentine's, we're throwing in Bewitched, a revamped version of All of Me, and this one. . .



Airy will be sad she missed that one.

B wants me to learn this one:



Maybe next time. . .

A New Open Mic

This past Wednesday, I checked out the Depot in Hillsborough. It was a cute little bar and store similar to Foster's Market--only not as high end. It was fun--Maple View Ice Cream and local hot dogs with funky toppings like blue cheese slaw and apple mustard. A few poets, a lot of guitarists, an electric violinist.

It was really an off-the-cuff open mic. When JK (the guitarist) got there, we decided the songs we would do. The Countess DeWinters very nicely filmed the first two of the three songs.  And the electric violinist stepped in with us for fun. We called it the St. set.

St. Louis Blues. . .  This one is just fun to sing. When I started, it felt like the whole room took a deep breath--not quite a gasp, but close. At that moment, I knew that it was going to be a good night.



St. James Infirmary--you can tell, I needed more water by this one--and that I hadn't practiced it in a while. Also, I kind of let the ending go. . . sad.  Oh well--it is fun because in the middle of the song on stage we made decisions about things, which made it an event in and of itself. Realize that all of this is improvised by the two instrumentalists. . . and myself, a little.



St. Ormy Weather - still needs work. It was our first time performing this one.  I got a few calls for encores (which was awesome!). Multiple people came up to hug me afterwards, and they asked me to come back--as a regular. We'll see.

I think the best was having a night out with the Countess.

Further Afield. . .

This is partially for my friends further west.  This next Wednesday, I'm trying out a new open mic night.  If you are bored, see you at the Depot in Hillsborough.  Not sure what I am singing (or when), but it should be fun!  And the menu looks good, too (the Dog toppings alone!)!

Meet the Julep!

Thanks for your help! After many suggestions N's brother and Ash get the props for the suggestion!  The Mint Julep rides--a perfect blend of our life in the semi-south, and the minty refreshing spritz of a julep.

Also, I am official.  I got my license plate (a few days late), and I realized that I forgot a phillips-head screwdriver.  Luckily, my student at work was a doll and helped me out.

PS. We didn't get great video at Guglhupf, but it went well.  

Going Downton

Yes, we're totally addicted at our house. . . But I had to laugh at these spoofs that they did for Comic Relief.  All your favorites are there--and they blend Upstairs Downstairs with Downton Abbey for Upton Downstairs Abbey.  I loved the Lark Rise to Candleford allusion, as well as the "looks" moment.  Hi-larious.





Slate's TV Club has been debating it, and I've loved all of their comments! I especially enjoyed the "Most Hated Crawleys list."  B wailed last night, "We can download it illegally, right?"  No, we're going to wait it out. . . Only three episodes left--but will we get to see the Christmas episode?!? I just looked it up--February 19th!  Sigh. . .

Reading. . .

I realize my mental health lately has taken a blow, and I just figured out why.  I haven't read a new book since Christmas!  Sigh. . .  It must be withdrawal. . .